LUNCH WITH AHMET

Extracted from my book SOUR MOUTH, SWEET BOTTOM

"Ahmet Ertegun called. ‘I want to sign Wham! to Atlantic.’

     'You can’t!’

     'Yes, I can. They’re going to get out of their contract with Innervision and we want them for Atlantic.’

      'We’re going to sign with CBS.’

     'Come and talk to me about it.’

     'There’s no point. We can talk on the phone.’

     'Better if you come here; then I can persuade you.’

     'I don't mind talking but you won’t persuade me. Our strategy from the start was to get them out of Innervision and sign to CBS.’

     'You’ll receive a first-class ticket tomorrow. You’re booked into the Bel Air. I’ll see you there for lunch on Thursday. 1pm.'

     It was typically Ahmet – so bullish.

     'I don’t need the ticket, nor the hotel. I’ll be there anyway – I’m on my way to Beijing. You can pick me up for lunch at the Beverly Hilton.’

     As I put the phone down,  my partner,Jazz, came into the office.

I said, ‘Ahmet wants to have lunch when I get to LA. What shall I ask him for?”

     'The best wine on the wine list.’

     When Ahmet was being pushy, he pushed hard.

     'Ask Mick,’ he said over lunch, ‘ask him, "Are we the best?" Ask Phil Collins, ask AC/DC. They’ll all say yes. I’ll bring them to dinner tonight; you can ask each one of them.’

     We were lunching in a private room at L’Orangerie, not my favourite place because the chairs were so uncomfortable.

     'That would be inducing breach of contract?’

     'We can get round that. And we’ll make Wham! huge. We’ll make them the biggest group in the world.’

     'No, you won’t – and nor will CBS – because that’s what Jazz and I will do. And we’ve already decided… It will be CBS.’

     By now the waiter had poured us each a glass of the Chambertin. I'd always doubted that Ahmet knew as much about wine as he  made out, but he certainly knew this was delicious.

   'Wonderful', he said  And a big smile crossed his lips.

     Then he was back on point.

     'Jerry Wexler says “Careless Whisper” is going to be the biggest hit in the world next year.’

     'It won’t be Jerry’s version. George is re-recording it. Jerry’s version was lifeless.’

     'Jerry says George is a self-centred smart ass. But he also thinks he’s a genius, which is why I want him on Atlantic.'

     'George won’t blow out CBS. He’s very moral. They’ve brought him this far; he’ll want to stick with them.’

     'But he’s blowing out Innervision. Where’s the morality in that?’

     Ahmet was tireless, as I knew he would be. We were on the coffee now and although I kept telling him no, he just went relentlessly on.

     'How long are you here for?’

     'Until tomorrow. I’m going to Beijing in the morning. I’m trying to get an invite for Wham! to play there.’

     'Atlantic will give you an invite to the top of the Billboard charts.’

     I was getting tired. It was 3 p.m. – 11 p.m. in London – I needed an afternoon nap.

     'Enough, Ahmet,’ I said.

     'I'll see you for dinner,’ he told me. 'Bette Midler's coming and my favourite countess from Italy.'

     But I refused.

     The next morning I got a call at 6 a.m. It wasn’t the wake-up call I’d booked with the hotel operator, it was Ahmet in the lobby. He’d been up all night and wanted to take me to the airport. I tried to resist him but I couldn’t. So half-an-hour later, showered and morning-fresh, I clambered into the stale-smelling limo he’d gone to dinner in the night before. It contained the detritus of his night out – crushed beer cans on the floor and a dishevelled countess in the corner clasping an empty brandy bottle and snoring. Ahmet, though, was as bright as a button, as he always was.

     'There was no point going to bed,’ he explained, ‘I’ve got a board meeting at nine-thirty. Just time to take you to the airport first. Now then, about Wham! Have you made your mind up yet?’

     'I’ve told you over and over,’ I said. ‘The answer is no!’

     Apart from having to repeat it another half-dozen times between Beverly Hills and LAX, that was that. Two hours later I was boarding Pan Am 001, off to Thailand for the weekend before heading to dreary Beijing on Monday.

       But even though Beijing was dreary and the food poor, trying to persuade the Chinese politburo to let Wham! play there was a breeze compared with trying to persuade Ahmet he had no chance of signing them.”

EXTRACTED FROM “SOUR MOUTH, SWEET BOTTOM”

PUBLISHED BY UNBOUND BOOKS